Not everyday you feel that you have been so unlucky in life. Not everyday you feel so alone in this world. Not everyday you feel that you don't have that hand to pull you out when you are stuck up in the quicksand of troubles.......you don't have that shoulder where for even a moment though you would find solace and peace of mind. Its real irony that everyone is well aware of the grave facts but still pretends to be strong enough to endure the storms brewing up within.
I did have a similar feeling today. I understood today the levels of loneliness in my heart and mind. I understood today that I have no one whom I could turn up to even at the oddest hours of the day in case I felt insecure. I understood today that I lack the warmth of that one touch which could induce the life force in me when all seemed to have failed.
All this started with a conversation of mine.....a conversation with an old friend,whom I had left back almost half a decade ago. Its really surprising how somethings from your past come back and leave an indelible mark on your mind. I met Debashish today....a friend associated with my gang during my good old school days. We were these seven friends....debashish aka debi......priya aka prips.....soumya aka sums.......parul......manisha......sachin aka sachs.....and ofcourse me or ambo-jumbo as I was better known. Those were the days I can bargain with anything to relive.
I met Debashish today at a cafeteria. I went there with a delegate for some ice tea. As I was entering I saw a familiar figure on the right hand extreme corner seat. A very familiar face looking at me in a shocked and surprised state. It took me sometime to recognise my old pal. It was a warm hug which followed after a handshake. Debashish had been long out of touch with all of us. Rather it was only Manisha and Parul I had been in contact with. Debashish introduced me to his girlfriend and now fiance....Ayesha. I had known about Ayesha and Debashish being together since our school days...precisely standard 11th where they met during the preparatory classes for IIT exams. I remember having very briefly met Ayesha once during school Annual Days. Debashish had persuaded her long to come and meet his bestest buddies of all times.
I wanted to have a chat with Debashish but had an obligation as I had company. So I decided to take up some time today only with him so that we could chat and update ourselves. I finished off with my day's work and as decided I met Debashish in the evening. We sat down at my favourite place....Barista's at Khan Market.I ordered ice teas and told the guy serving us to repeat the order every half an hour as I knew our chats would not just end with one. Debashish took out his laptop and finished doing some work. The ice teas arrived and we started with where we had left.....the day when we went to the school to get our marksheets and school passing certificates. We both narrated the following events..our college life.....cushes.....first job..... etc...etc....etc. Debashish enquired about our other guys and I told them that Manisha and Parul were still in touch with me. I called up Manisha and Debi (Debashish) had a hearty chat with her. Then came the fateful moment when I asked him about Soumya and Priya. They were real close to my heart and I was eager to know their whereabouts.
Soumya or Soumyadeep Dutta and Priya or Priya Mukherjee......were childhood sweethearts. Their respective parents were in the same office and both of them had almost spent their whole childhood together. Soumya was this tall and brooding kinda person with sudden attacks of good humour and witty talks. Priya on the other hand was this tender and sweet girl......intelligent to the core with a good voice. She was trained in classical music and was very talented in all aspects. They had been together since they were five years old and till now hadn't left each other's company. Soumya and Priya both admired each other and finally one fine day Soumya called the shots to her. They looked really so sweet as a couple and really we all felt they should always be together.
After we left school both Soumya and Priya joined their respective colleges for further studies. They managed to take out time to meet up whenever they we back to Delhi in vacations or otherwise. We too had a gathering with rest of the pals pitching in. It was during this time was that unfortunate day when one misunderstanding led to a painful break up between Sums and Prips. We tried to help but it was in vain. They moved apart never to meet again. I really felt very pained at this as I my notion for true and perfect love was broken seeing them end everything so coldly. After that for next couple of years none of us met or had any knowledge of whereabouts of both of them.
Today when I told all this to Debashish he was amazed. He told us that we still lived in the dark-age as both Sums ans Prips had met again a few months back.....realised their faults and were together again once and for all. They had got engaged. I was speechless for a moment. Suddenly a whole barrage of feelings started coming through in my mind. I didn't know how to react to this sudden shock. I was immensely jubiliated to hear Sums and Prips being together again. Afterall love which is true....sincere and devoted always gets its way back. I eagerly sought to meet them and chalked out a plan for a reunion with him. We sat for some more time after that and then finally made our way back home. I dropped Debashish at his place and took towards my home.
On my way back I suddenly realised something. Amongst the seven pals each had found love in their lives. It was me who was still alone.....walking solitarily on the lonely and dark lanes of the world. Suddenly I felt as if I was really so poor inspite of all the worldly pleasures I had........
Then a face started coming up again and again in my mind. The only woman I had loved ever in my life. All her memories started bouncing back on me. Her voice seemed to echo in my ears. I was immediately teleported back to those days of my life. Suddenly a thought streaked across my mind...... Didn't I deserve a oppurtunity to go back and relive those moments again???? I wonder if that was when I was really living my life to its best. Right now its nothing but a bio-machinery at work, just carrying out the duties and responsibilities it laden on it. I do not have qualms in agreeing that I was unlucky ......... or maybe there are many more souls like me........walking and living in solitary confinements ........
I did have a similar feeling today. I understood today the levels of loneliness in my heart and mind. I understood today that I have no one whom I could turn up to even at the oddest hours of the day in case I felt insecure. I understood today that I lack the warmth of that one touch which could induce the life force in me when all seemed to have failed.
All this started with a conversation of mine.....a conversation with an old friend,whom I had left back almost half a decade ago. Its really surprising how somethings from your past come back and leave an indelible mark on your mind. I met Debashish today....a friend associated with my gang during my good old school days. We were these seven friends....debashish aka debi......priya aka prips.....soumya aka sums.......parul......manisha......sachin aka sachs.....and ofcourse me or ambo-jumbo as I was better known. Those were the days I can bargain with anything to relive.
I met Debashish today at a cafeteria. I went there with a delegate for some ice tea. As I was entering I saw a familiar figure on the right hand extreme corner seat. A very familiar face looking at me in a shocked and surprised state. It took me sometime to recognise my old pal. It was a warm hug which followed after a handshake. Debashish had been long out of touch with all of us. Rather it was only Manisha and Parul I had been in contact with. Debashish introduced me to his girlfriend and now fiance....Ayesha. I had known about Ayesha and Debashish being together since our school days...precisely standard 11th where they met during the preparatory classes for IIT exams. I remember having very briefly met Ayesha once during school Annual Days. Debashish had persuaded her long to come and meet his bestest buddies of all times.
I wanted to have a chat with Debashish but had an obligation as I had company. So I decided to take up some time today only with him so that we could chat and update ourselves. I finished off with my day's work and as decided I met Debashish in the evening. We sat down at my favourite place....Barista's at Khan Market.I ordered ice teas and told the guy serving us to repeat the order every half an hour as I knew our chats would not just end with one. Debashish took out his laptop and finished doing some work. The ice teas arrived and we started with where we had left.....the day when we went to the school to get our marksheets and school passing certificates. We both narrated the following events..our college life.....cushes.....first job..... etc...etc....etc. Debashish enquired about our other guys and I told them that Manisha and Parul were still in touch with me. I called up Manisha and Debi (Debashish) had a hearty chat with her. Then came the fateful moment when I asked him about Soumya and Priya. They were real close to my heart and I was eager to know their whereabouts.
Soumya or Soumyadeep Dutta and Priya or Priya Mukherjee......were childhood sweethearts. Their respective parents were in the same office and both of them had almost spent their whole childhood together. Soumya was this tall and brooding kinda person with sudden attacks of good humour and witty talks. Priya on the other hand was this tender and sweet girl......intelligent to the core with a good voice. She was trained in classical music and was very talented in all aspects. They had been together since they were five years old and till now hadn't left each other's company. Soumya and Priya both admired each other and finally one fine day Soumya called the shots to her. They looked really so sweet as a couple and really we all felt they should always be together.
After we left school both Soumya and Priya joined their respective colleges for further studies. They managed to take out time to meet up whenever they we back to Delhi in vacations or otherwise. We too had a gathering with rest of the pals pitching in. It was during this time was that unfortunate day when one misunderstanding led to a painful break up between Sums and Prips. We tried to help but it was in vain. They moved apart never to meet again. I really felt very pained at this as I my notion for true and perfect love was broken seeing them end everything so coldly. After that for next couple of years none of us met or had any knowledge of whereabouts of both of them.
Today when I told all this to Debashish he was amazed. He told us that we still lived in the dark-age as both Sums ans Prips had met again a few months back.....realised their faults and were together again once and for all. They had got engaged. I was speechless for a moment. Suddenly a whole barrage of feelings started coming through in my mind. I didn't know how to react to this sudden shock. I was immensely jubiliated to hear Sums and Prips being together again. Afterall love which is true....sincere and devoted always gets its way back. I eagerly sought to meet them and chalked out a plan for a reunion with him. We sat for some more time after that and then finally made our way back home. I dropped Debashish at his place and took towards my home.
On my way back I suddenly realised something. Amongst the seven pals each had found love in their lives. It was me who was still alone.....walking solitarily on the lonely and dark lanes of the world. Suddenly I felt as if I was really so poor inspite of all the worldly pleasures I had........
Then a face started coming up again and again in my mind. The only woman I had loved ever in my life. All her memories started bouncing back on me. Her voice seemed to echo in my ears. I was immediately teleported back to those days of my life. Suddenly a thought streaked across my mind...... Didn't I deserve a oppurtunity to go back and relive those moments again???? I wonder if that was when I was really living my life to its best. Right now its nothing but a bio-machinery at work, just carrying out the duties and responsibilities it laden on it. I do not have qualms in agreeing that I was unlucky ......... or maybe there are many more souls like me........walking and living in solitary confinements ........
