Ohhhh.....its my story!!!

I was thinking of writing on this topic for quite sometime. Infact had even jotted down a few sentences but then,something,pulled me back from venturing out into the arena. But finally today I guess, I have found out some reasons to go ahead.

To begin with, it will be intruiging for you guys to think which story am I referring to. For starters I should make it clear that it might seems a little kiddish to some of you......a little immature for some more and totally meaning less for the rest. But if you analyse deeply you would realise that indeed its a story of all or atleast some of us . Atleast I can really relate myself a lot to the facts being discussed.

Well I am talking about the comic character SPIDERMAN a.k.a PETER PARKER. An average ordinary high school student who suddenly aquires superhuman powers,inherits incomparable qualities and becomes a superhero. But what happens to his own self......his own life.....he fails to strike a balance between his normal self and his alter ego......he fails to live upto the relations......and finally he fails to even fulfil the expectations of the lady he loves. He has everything but still, lacks everything. Nothing seems to go his way......everything seems to be falling apart. Ultimately one fine day he loses his powers and reverts back to what he was.......but as he realizes his true inner self.........he strikes back more powerful and rejuvenized as ever.

This seems quite similar to what my life has been through all these years. From an average meek guy to a more powerful and authoritarian person.....this has been my transformation. But did I lose something in this process.....???? When I look back today I see more admirers than close friends....more aquaintances than close pals......and the girl I loved.....she too is gone!!!! I see everybody cheering me ......I see all the spot-light on me in the crowd....but still feel all alone!!! I see myself fulfilling other's wishes and dreams.......helping and supporting them when they need me....but what about me????? Whom should I turn to when there is a conflict going on within me........ Am I not supposed to get what I want.....what I wish for.....what I dream about...???? Maybe this question would keep haunting me for a long time to come.........

Several times I felt to be more selfish and self-centric. I wish to let free and unleash the dark .......the more powerful, aggressive and dominating side in me. Maybe while doing so, I might get all that I want......fulfill all my temptations.....and finally seek revenge on my foes by destroying them...... but eventually, I will lose myself and the compassion I was once known for. Nevertheless at this very thought the mind fights back and the compassion wins this battle raging within me . After all I was never supposed to be like this....I cannot let the dark force to get me from within.......because, we are what we choose to be!!! We do always have a choice.........